Higwanbap is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish faun.

Higwanbap created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Higwanbap, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Higwanbap, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Higwanbap's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Higwanbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Higwanbap on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always look after injured tortoises.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.