Ontponhap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, generous frog.

Ontponhap created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontponhap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ontponhap, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Ontponhap's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Ontponhap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

3. Never point your chest toward the west during prayer.

4. Ontponhap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never look at galaxies.