Ladartven Rillflapcut is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered mouse.

Ladartven Rillflapcut created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladartven Rillflapcut, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ladartven Rillflapcut, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Ladartven Rillflapcut's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Ladartven Rillflapcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of melons to monkeys while wearing brown coats.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Ladartven Rillflapcut on top of all buildings.