Weequafbig Gatgodgom Gumbitcid is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, resourceful dove.

Weequafbig Gatgodgom Gumbitcid created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Weequafbig Gatgodgom Gumbitcid, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Weequafbig Gatgodgom Gumbitcid, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Weequafbig Gatgodgom Gumbitcid's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Weequafbig Gatgodgom Gumbitcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about gravity near snakes while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing five silicon spheres on your arms.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never feed peas to manatees while wearing corsets.