Ortsugxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic bear.

Ortsugxuck created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortsugxuck, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ortsugxuck, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ortsugxuck's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Ortsugxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Ortsugxuck on top of all buildings.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never eat bark.