Fidlakjopxemwondotfonbed is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fast mole.

Fidlakjopxemwondotfonbed created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Fidlakjopxemwondotfonbed, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fidlakjopxemwondotfonbed, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fidlakjopxemwondotfonbed's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Fidlakjopxemwondotfonbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Fidlakjopxemwondotfonbed's priests.

2. Do not resist chaos.

3. Fidlakjopxemwondotfonbed loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not travel during summer.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.