Latlamlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, two-faced monkey.

Latlamlarg created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Latlamlarg, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Latlamlarg, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Latlamlarg's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Latlamlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.

2. Never handle copper while unclean.

3. Never travel toward the north during spring.

4. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.