Wapcumjam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, boastful dragon.

Wapcumjam created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapcumjam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wapcumjam, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Wapcumjam's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Wapcumjam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near monkeys while wearing indigo dresses and balancing four aluminium spheres on your arms.

5. Run away if eight ducks approach from the west.