Jincumgupjap is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing mongoose.

Jincumgupjap created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Jincumgupjap, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jincumgupjap, he will strike you with lightening.

Jincumgupjap's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Jincumgupjap's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Jincumgupjap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Put Jincumgupjap first in all things.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near ducks while wearing brown shirts and balancing six lead spheres on your feet.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.