Kadvogvid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, ruthless frog.

Kadvogvid created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadvogvid, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kadvogvid, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kadvogvid's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Kadvogvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Kadvogvid loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

3. Never go into orange rooms.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Heed all dreams.