Butsandlen is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unfair toad.

Butsandlen created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butsandlen, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Butsandlen, she will turn you into a hamster.

Butsandlen's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Butsandlen's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Butsandlen loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never mention mites.

5. Butsandlen must be the most important thing in your life.