Fasbodhenrip is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, strong narwhal.

Fasbodhenrip created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fasbodhenrip, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fasbodhenrip, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fasbodhenrip's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Fasbodhenrip's Holy Commandments

1. Swans are not to be trusted.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.