Dimjannul Pinquillcid is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, moody turtle.

Dimjannul Pinquillcid created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimjannul Pinquillcid, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dimjannul Pinquillcid, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dimjannul Pinquillcid's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Dimjannul Pinquillcid's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dimjannul Pinquillcid.

3. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

4. Never hurt horses.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.