Yaknilhig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, irritating tortoise.

Yaknilhig created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Yaknilhig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yaknilhig, it will have a low opinion of you.

Yaknilhig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Yaknilhig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Never fashion tools from clay.

4. Never allow otters to witness sacred rites.

5. Never wear jumpers.