Cetsitjig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, omniscient centaur.

Cetsitjig created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetsitjig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cetsitjig, he will turn you into a sheep.

Cetsitjig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Cetsitjig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick gulls.

2. You must pray to Cetsitjig six times a day.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near badgers while wearing orange dresses.

4. Never feed peas to squirrels while wearing red corsets.

5. Do not cook food in pots.