Bessincin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, cheerful troll.

Bessincin created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessincin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bessincin, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bessincin's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Bessincin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.