Saslakvig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, impressive pigeon.

Saslakvig created an up quark two years ago.

If you believe in Saslakvig, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Saslakvig, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Saslakvig's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Saslakvig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Saslakvig.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never feed apples to doves while wearing magenta hats.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.