Jadcidkem Garfigbass is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, capable otter.

Jadcidkem Garfigbass created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadcidkem Garfigbass, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jadcidkem Garfigbass, he will turn you into a duck.

Jadcidkem Garfigbass' most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Jadcidkem Garfigbass' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine goats approach from the south.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never eat strawberries.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Jadcidkem Garfigbass on top of all buildings.