Tigfitpark Besslibbim Tonkjadfum is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omniscient squid.

Tigfitpark Besslibbim Tonkjadfum created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigfitpark Besslibbim Tonkjadfum, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tigfitpark Besslibbim Tonkjadfum, it will turn you into a worm.

Tigfitpark Besslibbim Tonkjadfum's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tigfitpark Besslibbim Tonkjadfum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green otters for they are unholy.

2. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

3. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

5. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Tigfitpark Besslibbim Tonkjadfum in the centre of the settlement.