Kabwatmad Carsismum is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthinking whale.

Kabwatmad Carsismum created the Sunflower Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabwatmad Carsismum, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kabwatmad Carsismum, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kabwatmad Carsismum's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Kabwatmad Carsismum's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain kneeling at midday.

2. Do not travel during spring.

3. Do not name children after aardvarks.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.