Latlagtailquag is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unsympathetic wyrm.

Latlagtailquag created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Latlagtailquag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Latlagtailquag, it will turn you into a mouse.

Latlagtailquag's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Latlagtailquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat mice with great respect.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Always look after injured voles.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.