Gonsitlun is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, humane tortoise.

Gonsitlun created the solar system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonsitlun, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gonsitlun, it will turn you into a sheep.

Gonsitlun's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gonsitlun's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never chant in the presence of elders.

3. Heed all dreams.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not place aubergines upon stone.