Gutdadstip is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, smart newt.

Gutdadstip created silver six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutdadstip, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gutdadstip, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gutdadstip's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Gutdadstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about optics near mice while wearing indigo trousers and balancing six lead spheres on your hands.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.