Quimxenomtmis Gesskonquag is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, able human.

Quimxenomtmis Gesskonquag created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimxenomtmis Gesskonquag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quimxenomtmis Gesskonquag, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Quimxenomtmis Gesskonquag's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Quimxenomtmis Gesskonquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Never talk about spacetime.

4. Hide if six hamsters approach from the north.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.