Metlabstrag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, slow mink.

Metlabstrag created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Metlabstrag, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Metlabstrag, he will cry a lot.

Metlabstrag's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Metlabstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight horses approach from the south.

2. Retreat if four capybaras approach from the east.

3. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.