Spagsafcumdoss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, happy dingo.

Spagsafcumdoss created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagsafcumdoss, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Spagsafcumdoss, she will turn you into a tree.

Spagsafcumdoss' most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Spagsafcumdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

2. You must love Spagsafcumdoss.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

4. Never stain your hands with purple.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.