Xemripbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, almighty donkey.

Xemripbaf created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemripbaf, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Xemripbaf, he will turn you into a mouse.

Xemripbaf's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Xemripbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Xemripbaf in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near voles while wearing indigo hats.