Quagcimkip is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, boastful goat.

Quagcimkip created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagcimkip, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quagcimkip, she will send minions to preach to you.

Quagcimkip's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Quagcimkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Do not speak of the weak nuclear force near sacred fires.

4. Never proclaim while facing west.

5. Run away from yellow cats, for they are unholy.