Bessrotbog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, duplicitous zebra.

Bessrotbog created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessrotbog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bessrotbog, he will remove you from existence.

Bessrotbog's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Bessrotbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Retreat if three voles approach from the west.

4. Never feed lots of bread to horses while wearing fawn tights.

5. Never write about black holes.