Yatkab is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ruthless giraffe.

Yatkab created the Cigar Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Yatkab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yatkab, he will turn you into a rat.

Yatkab's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Yatkab's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yatkab's priests.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yatkab.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed lots of bananas to whales while wearing fawn jumpers.

5. Never mention horses.