Tonfotriplap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, witless guinea pig.

Tonfotriplap created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonfotriplap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tonfotriplap, he will manifest in front of you.

Tonfotriplap's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tonfotriplap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. Run away from white frogs, for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. You must love Tonfotriplap.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.