Lunfemkad Kemfetjat Cumyatpan is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, able wyrm.

Lunfemkad Kemfetjat Cumyatpan created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunfemkad Kemfetjat Cumyatpan, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lunfemkad Kemfetjat Cumyatpan, it will turn you into a dog.

Lunfemkad Kemfetjat Cumyatpan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Lunfemkad Kemfetjat Cumyatpan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six aardvarks approach from the east.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Never mix nuts with water.

4. Never paint your back blue.

5. Never think about chlorophyll.