Legmatlop Vonkwikyart is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent warg.

Legmatlop Vonkwikyart created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Legmatlop Vonkwikyart, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Legmatlop Vonkwikyart, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Legmatlop Vonkwikyart's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Legmatlop Vonkwikyart's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Never pray while filled with envy.

3. Put Legmatlop Vonkwikyart first in all things.

4. Never cross forests at dawn.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Legmatlop Vonkwikyart.