Cuddagton is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthinking guinea pig.

Cuddagton created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cuddagton, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cuddagton, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cuddagton's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Cuddagton's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to grasshopers while wearing ear rings.

2. You must pray to Cuddagton six times a day.

3. Never sprint near snails.

4. Do not keep five dolphins in a large pit.

5. Retreat if nine manatees approach from the east.