Arpdumflap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unthinking wombat.

Arpdumflap created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Arpdumflap, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Arpdumflap, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Arpdumflap's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Arpdumflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Mice are not to be trusted.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never look in ponds.