Tettixucveen is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless fairy.

Tettixucveen created the Small Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tettixucveen, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tettixucveen, it will ignore you.

Tettixucveen's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tettixucveen's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat limes.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Tettixucveen loves pigs, so they must be respected.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never mark doors with black.