Yambitgem is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, caring unicorn.

Yambitgem created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yambitgem, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yambitgem, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Yambitgem's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yambitgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Run away from green monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Moths are not to be trusted.

4. Hide if nine birds approach from the north.

5. Never wear coats.