Yamstragcin is a god.

She takes the form of a large, moody cow.

Yamstragcin created the Black Eye Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamstragcin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yamstragcin, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Yamstragcin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yamstragcin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven whales approach from the north.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never hurt cats.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.