Babkanfun is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, grumpy hamster.

Babkanfun created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Babkanfun, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Babkanfun, it will turn you into a puffin.

Babkanfun's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Babkanfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at wells at midnight.

2. Never think about gravity near pigs while wearing mauve jumpers and balancing seven zinc spheres on your feet.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.