Tabfidvil is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, blissful octopus.

Tabfidvil created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabfidvil, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tabfidvil, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tabfidvil's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Tabfidvil's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Tabfidvil in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never speak at dawn.

3. Always help dogs.

4. Heed all visions.

5. Hide from pink monkeys for they are unholy.