Larnmumxin Jadbadsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, generous hydra.

Larnmumxin Jadbadsaf created the Sombrero Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnmumxin Jadbadsaf, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Larnmumxin Jadbadsaf, he will remove you from existence.

Larnmumxin Jadbadsaf's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Larnmumxin Jadbadsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Larnmumxin Jadbadsaf.

5. Do not shave your chest.