Gupfunont is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, confident rhinoceros.

Gupfunont created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Gupfunont, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gupfunont, she will destroy your home planet.

Gupfunont's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Gupfunont's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

3. Feed all hungry seals.

4. Always help horses.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.