Figjengun Hanfunlapbass Tofkanvag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, temperamental fly.

Figjengun Hanfunlapbass Tofkanvag created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figjengun Hanfunlapbass Tofkanvag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Figjengun Hanfunlapbass Tofkanvag, she will not care.

Figjengun Hanfunlapbass Tofkanvag's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Figjengun Hanfunlapbass Tofkanvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not keep six manatees in a large pit.

5. Do not stand on grass.