Laktifkon is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, annoying crocodile.

Laktifkon created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laktifkon, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Laktifkon, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Laktifkon's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Laktifkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near sharks while wearing brown dresses and balancing eight lead spheres on your face.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Retreat if five badgers approach from the west.

4. Never think about electromagnetism.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.