Gadbepbun is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, fussy lobster.

Gadbepbun created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadbepbun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gadbepbun, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gadbepbun's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gadbepbun's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gadbepbun.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.

3. Never prepare nuts during summer.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Porpoises are not to be trusted.