Bonkflatditbam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, almighty zebra.

Bonkflatditbam created silver four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkflatditbam, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bonkflatditbam, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bonkflatditbam's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bonkflatditbam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bonkflatditbam nine times a day.

2. Never think about gravity near voles while wearing black dresses and balancing seven iron spheres on your feet.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.