Vonkpoptikgab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless armadillo.

Vonkpoptikgab created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkpoptikgab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vonkpoptikgab, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Vonkpoptikgab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Vonkpoptikgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Vonkpoptikgab in the centre of the settlement.