Fobortquart is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, annoying scorpion.

Fobortquart created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobortquart, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fobortquart, he will turn you into a frog.

Fobortquart's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Fobortquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never touch oil while tainted.

4. Do not wear shoes marked with yellow.

5. Never pray while filled with joy.