Pakbifwon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, cheerful wasp.

Pakbifwon created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakbifwon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pakbifwon, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pakbifwon's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Pakbifwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with gray.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

3. Never allow porpoises to witness sacred rites.

4. Run away if eight bats approach from the east.

5. Remain bowed during prayer.