Vabflabxin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, overgenerous monkey.

Vabflabxin created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Vabflabxin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vabflabxin, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vabflabxin's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Vabflabxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Never eat wheat.