Pancarstig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, idiotic hamster.

Pancarstig created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pancarstig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pancarstig, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Pancarstig's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Pancarstig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pancarstig.

3. Do not eat onions.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always stare at clouds.