Wigmetragjen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, wise seal.

Wigmetragjen created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Wigmetragjen, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wigmetragjen, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Wigmetragjen's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Wigmetragjen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Wigmetragjen on top of all buildings.

2. Always help nematodes in need.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.