Labartmis is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unsympathetic naga.

Labartmis created Mount Everest three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labartmis, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Labartmis, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Labartmis' most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Labartmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Do not eat spinach.

5. Do not keep seven ants in a large pit.