Yarpcutlen is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, kind centaur.

Yarpcutlen created humanity seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcutlen, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarpcutlen, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Yarpcutlen's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Yarpcutlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to sharks while wearing corsets.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing violet shoes.

3. Never wear brown jumpers.

4. Put Yarpcutlen first in all things.

5. Never write about fluid mechanics.