Rakpangrak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fussy hippopotamus.

Rakpangrak created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakpangrak, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Rakpangrak, it will have a low opinion of you.

Rakpangrak's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Rakpangrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Rakpangrak's priests.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing blue shoes and balancing four silver spheres on your arms.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Hide if nine rats approach from the east.