Yoglipwit is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, confident aardvark.

Yoglipwit created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yoglipwit, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yoglipwit, she will manifest in front of you.

Yoglipwit's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Yoglipwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about seals.

2. Retreat if nine monkeys approach from the south.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

5. Do not speak of solid mechanics near sacred fires.